everything wrong with ace combat 7
by odstpilot
Summary: this is a parody of cinema-sins. No offense is intended to project aces, bandai namco, and the fans of the ace combat series. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Ch 1

_'Does the color of the sky mean anything to you? It does to me. A hell of a lot.'_

Pronoun game. -ding!

_'When i close my eyes, the color of the skies is a deep dark blue.'_

Or you can just get in your recently built F-104 and take off to see the color itself. -ding!

_'You know avie, i wish you could see what it's like up there. Cruising above the clouds. The dark blue of the stratosphere. Nothing beats being at the helm and seeing it from the controls of the cockpit.'_

Sure you're worried she could be killed like her father was during the circum-pacific war, but there's other flying careers not involved with the military. -ding!

_'Gramps was real friends with the super there, so he got to take whatever he wanted… no questions asked! That's how we got the parts to build our own plane.'_

Even though it's a junkyard, that's still billions of dollars worth of military equipment that can be used. Is Osea so incompetent that they don't care if random civilians can take pieces of hardware from a junkyard and build their own plane? -ding(2)!

Also, Avril mentioned her father died during the war. What about her mother? Why isn't Avril living with her mother? Did she die as well? -ding!

_'I was at the airship, doing some flight testing when i saw it. A prototype drone. It wasn't much. More like a trash can with wings.'_

A prototype drone? It took eight years to make her F-104. That's from 2011-2019. The circum-pacific war lasted during the duration of 2010. Yuktobania and Belka were using drones in the duration of the war. Come on Osea, get your shit together! -ding!

_'Scene of Avril taking off into the sky.'_

This music is amazing. It brings back ace combat feels from the holy trilogy. Knock off 4 sins.

_'I could almost touch it. I saw Osea's fighters. They were tailing a drone… it had a rose painted on it. The Erusean emblem. But that country's a whole continent away from here!'_

Yuktobania was a whole continent away from Osea, yet that didn't stop them from attacking Osean soil. -ding!

_'Earlier, our radar site informed us that a group of unidentified aircraft was approaching.'_

Even after ace combat 5, Osean intel is still a load of shit. It's a Tu-95 bomber and a MiG-21 escort fighter. If your intel is so incompetent, how the hell did you win any war? -ding!

_'Trigger, i'm your wingman. That's what it means to be in an element.'_

Condescending wingman needs an apple to finish being a complete asshole. -ding!

Also, the game doesn't penalize you for accelerating ahead and leaving mage 1 behind. -ding!

_'Lets slow down. It's just one sortie. Don't try to be a hero. I want you to try to make it back in one piece. You hear?'_

Oi, i took down the majority of the enemy aircraft. What were you guys doing this whole time? -ding!

_'...citizens of Erusea…'_

Is that all? You're not going to continue your speech? Okay. -ding!

_'We have confirmed that the aircraft carrier Albatross was sunk.'_

Brownie said at the start of the mission that the carrier was all but ruined, and it took you guys this long to confirm it? -ding!

_'We know the attacking bogeys were from Erusea.'_

So what was the whole 'unidentified planes' crap really about? Did you guys not know they came from Erusea? Or did you now just know after they turned your base into a scrapyard? -ding!

_'Scene of OBC and ENN news broadcasts'_

Rip-off of real-world BBC and CNN is rip-off. -ding!

_'...violent attack was carried out by drones. They speculate the drones were secretly transported to Osea in shipping containers and launched remotely.'_

So Osea didn't check the containers coming in from Erusea? Erusea has shown some passive-aggressive hostility against Osea because of the space elevator. Osea should have been worried about Erusean intentions, and didn't take the proper precautions. -ding(3)!

_'Osea launched an attack on the capital today, striking Farbanti from their aircraft carrier, the Kestrel two.'_

Fanservice to ace combat 5 and zero's Kestrel. Alas, the carrier is destroyed not far into the game. So why bother with it at all? -ding!

_'Scene of Avril surviving her crash.'_

Avril survives this crash in a junkyard plane she made with her own hands. -ding!

Also, how fucking coincidental it is that Avril is flying her jet the same day that war breaks out. -ding!

_'The fences were topped off with razor wire, the tower had a searchlight and machine guns… this was a prison.'_

Say what?! Avril is a civilian, yet they send her to a military base that also acts as a prison. What isn't she in a regular prison instead of a military prison? She never joined the Osean armed forces. -ding!

_'The only reason i'm here is because they knew i'd restore a supersonic plane. They wanted me to make something out of these mothballed planes they brought, that they could park on the fake runaway.'_

Osea apparently ran out of skilled mechanics in the military, which is why they have to draft civilians and throw them into a gulag. Is this the Soviet Union? Is Stalin in charge? -ding!

_'They found out. And set the dogs on me.'_

You are trying to escape with a broken leg! Of course you'd fail in your attempt. -ding!

_'Destroy the targets. But HQ has made sure that no harm should come to civilians and no damage done to public facilities.'_

Osea, a superpower with far more resources and military strength then Erusea could hope to match, is trying to show to the world that they can also avoid civilian casualties despite their history of killing enemy civilians outright, ala ace combat 5's Dresdon attack, and ace combat 0's bombing of Hoffnung, instead of using overwhelming might to crush Erusea as quickly as possible and save more lives in the long-run. -ding(2)!

_'Gameplay shows Erusean transport is destroyed, violently exploding in a bright blue light.'_

No-one is going to comment on that weird explosion? -ding!

_'Here's some feedback to those war merchants! Write your manuals in a language we can understand!'_

Foreshadowing. -ding!

_'Well-spotted Clown. No doubt we're dealing with UAV's. But that doesn't change a thing. Just think of them as somewhat clever decoys.'_

These 'clever decoys' crippled Osea's navy in the opening blitz. You shouldn't be underestimating them. -ding!

_'Golem, you're not going to let mage get all the glory, are you?'_

Well maybe if they actually did something… -ding!

_'Crap. the aircraft is icing up. I'm getting a warning.'_

Then get out of the clouds! That's basic flying 101. -ding!

_'The first barrier keeping us from reclaiming the space elevator is gone. Now is the time to regroup and begin the counteroffensive. Let us reclaim what is ours.'_

In the beginning briefing, Erusea was shown to take a lot of Usean territory under their control. Even if you managed to retake the space elevator with the next offensive, Erusea still has a large and powerful military. They can easily take the elevator back from you guys. -ding(2)!


	2. Chapter 2

Ch 2

_'The ships moored around the space elevator and near Gandar Bay have been hit hard.'_

No shit. The Eruseans are throwing everything to capture the space elevator intact. Of course they'd destroy the Osean ships. -ding!

_'Fortunately, our cutting-edge aircraft carrier Kestrel 2 was at sea, so it was spared from the attack.'_

Only to be destroyed within a few hours during a failed attack on Farbanti. -ding!

_'Today, the IUN reclaims its bid to the space elevator.'_

Sure. lets ignore the vast Erusean military that's on the continent, and will most likely be deployed to push you guys back from the elevator. -ding!

_'However, it's been reported that the carriers may have fallen into Erusean hands.'_

You idiots built another giant plane, and lost it to your enemy. Didn't you learn from losing the Arkbird? -ding(2)!

_'Trigger, time to show the other guys we get wet, wild, and do dirty dirty things.'_

What you and the rest of the squadron do in the showers is your personal business. Where's the brain bleach? -ding!

_'Game shows Arsenal bird arriving and sending out its drones to fight.'_

The music and appearance is breathtaking. You're up against this monster of a plane that combines the 'grace' of the Arkbird, along with the brute force and firepower of the aigaion and XB-70. Knock off 4 sins.

We also interrupt the lighthouse war to bring you Ace Combat: Battlestar Galactica/Terminator edition. -ding!

_'We just learned that Erusea has the Arsenal bird. Those bastards. They had that thing combat ready the whole time.'_

Of course they would! You're launching an offensive to retake the space elevator, a highly strategic location. They'd throw everything, including the kitchen sink, to thwart your offensive! -ding!

_'Damn they're agile.'_

You were told you would be facing a new drone. What, you thought one drone would be the same as the next? -ding!

_'Gameplay shows Arsenal bird deploying shield.'_

Impressive mechanics. If you manage to do enough damage to the carrier, it will deploy its shields to defend itself. Knock off a sin.

_'Shoot down those UAVs. Don't let them touch any friendlies.'_

Despite being outnumbered and outgunned by the drones, the human pilots are still able to tear thru the drones, like every cliche human vs machines movie and tv show. -ding!

_'My status is fine. Affirmative.'_

That fact that the subtitles show unknown (looking at you, halo 5!) makes the player wonder what this new threat is. Also, the music shows the desperate situation the Osean pilots are in, especially Brownie. Take off two sins.

_'I'm against an SU-30… I'm scared! I'm scared!...he's a predator. The weak get eaten… Mage 2, support! Someone, support!'_

That was a brutal death for ace combat. Brownie is losing her mind, and flips her shit just before she's killed. Combined with all the friendlies lost, this mission cements that this is not your normal ace combat. Take off a sin.

Also, the japanese voice actor for Brownie voiced Petra from Attack on Titan, who also get brutally killed by a powerful and new threat. In view of everything, this game can also be called Ace Combat: Game of Thrones/Attack on Titan edition. Take off 2 sins.

_'The aircraft carrier Kestrel 2 was sunk during the attack on Farbanti.'_

Of course it was. -ding!

_'Carrier-borne aircraft mistakenly bombed urban areas, and this has turned public opinion in neutral countries against us.'_

Osea just can't help but indulge in their favorite pastime. The Osean military, a global force for good. -ding!

_'We have precious little time, however. We have to get to the space elevator.'_

How? You lost your carrier and dozens, if not hundreds of planes and pilots. The Eruseans have the elevator locked down like it's fort knox and area 51 combined. -ding!

_'Cutscene shows Dr. Schroeder and Mihlay's SU-30.'_

We get to see things from the Erusean side? Take off two sins.

Also, the game introduces the SU-30, which we can acquire and play in the game. Take off another sin.

_'Thank god he has his granddaughters to help him out.'_

Say what? Why would Mihaly have his granddaughters live with him at a military installation? How did he get permission to let it happen? Do their parents approve? What kind of a fucked up world is this? -ding!

Solid snake joins the Erusean air force. -ding!

_'They're sisters, fifteen and ten.'_

How the hell do you know their ages? Mihaly looks to be stoic strong silent type. I doubt he'd tell you their ages. -ding!

_'The drones we based on his data were being taken down at a faster rate now, compared to when the war begin...it's going to take a bit more tweaking before our drones can match his skill.'_

You're at war with a superpower. You mean to tell me you guys made the drones and then declared war? Why?! You should have tested the drones against your air-force and used that data to improve them. Not while war has broken out and every second counts. -ding!

_'How penal is this penal unit you ask? This place is a shithole.'_

It's a prison. No kidding it looks like crap. -ding!

_'Their job was to rev the engines on the fake runaways.'_

Why would you need pilots to do a rather simple task? -ding!

_'Because someone over there was smart enough to train a bunch of computer nerds to hack into half of Osea's satellites. That's how come.'_

Osea is now losing their satellites to Erusea. They have got to be the most incompetent nation on the planet. -ding!

_'I'd always try to bust out. And every time, those damn dogs would drag me right back.'_

Two words. BROKEN LEG! -ding!

_'Whenever she'd point out stuff wrong with Osea, the prisoners went nuts.'_

And they'd throw toilet paper anywhere they could. -ding!

_'Instead of building fake-ass planes to trick Erusea, i'm gonna build one that'll really take off.'_

Even if you can get it up and running, you still have a broken leg. You won't be able to fly a plane with one good leg. -ding!

_'Map in next briefing shows captured Erusean territory.'_

Take a close look. North point hasn't been taken by Erusea. Forget nukes as a deterrent. Mobius 1 is all the deterrent you'll need. -ding!

_'The hero of the circum-pacific war…'_

Harling didn't do jack shit in the war. He was captured and held prisoner by the gray men for the duration of the war. It was the Razgriz pilots who ended the war. Get off the propaganda pills. -ding!

_'Mr harling was inspecting the elevator when the war broke out.'_

Of course he would. -ding!

_'We will send a single aircraft thru the network, and send in a rescue team after.'_

You just said that a large force would be detected. Unless that rescue team is incredibly small, you're setting this mission up for failure. -ding!

_'Flying thru the clouds will enable us to stay hidden from their radar.'_

Radar is now incapable of tracking targets thru cloud cover. -ding!

_'Golem and others will arrive shortly for support.'_

Unless the vast radar site goes down, there's no realistic way all those other planes can sneak thru, not unless they go one by one. And that will give the Eruseans enough time to shoot down the planes one by one. -ding!

_'Date: June 6, 2019'_

The date alone ensures that this mission will end in complete and utter failure. No ace combat mission has ever had a happy ending on that now-cursed date. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows Trigger flying thru the radar net.'_

The Eruseans have to be deaf to not hear a fighter jet flying above their heads at mach speed. They also have to be blind to not see a fighter jet flying at mach speed. -ding!

_'The landing zone is secured. Sea goblin, you are cleared to land.'_

They brought sea goblin back. Take off a sin.

_'Multiple bandits over Selatapura harbor. They're container launched UAV's.'_

Even if you are flying over the harbor at this point, the game will set you to start flying right next to the elevator, wasting precious seconds to destroy the containers and UAVs. -ding!

_'Incoming rocket!'_

Sea Goblin is killed in the same mission they're reintroduced in. that's ace combat attack on titan for you. -ding!

_'We found an Erusean transport craft. It's engines are on.'_

Another coincidence. -ding!

_'All squadrons be advised. The callsign is mother goose one.'_

Take off another sin.

_'Mother goose one? That's the best you could come up with?'_

It was his call sign during his presidency. -ding!

_'We'll pass out from exhaustion before the enemy wears out.'_

Yeah, because they're machines and you're a human. -ding!

Also, that didn't stop you guys from killing drones for the past two missions with no problem. -ding!

_'Lets wait until we're home safe.'_

Yep. Harling is gonna die. -ding!

_'The big bird is coming.'_

Well yeah. It was assigned to defend the space elevator from you Oseans. It would be the nearest asset to deploy. -ding!

_'Strategic AI chose Liberty over Justice. Courses have already changed.'_

Strategic AI? Is Skynet up and running? Quick, get John Conner and Kyle Reese on the double! -ding!

_'Attention Gargoyle, Babel. Babel. Babel.'_

If the tactic of firing missiles at the space elevator was to kill as many drones in as little time as possible, it worked. If the tactic was to damage the space elevator, it was a massive failure. Also, reference to the Babel story in the bible. -ding!

_'Mother goose one is turning. They're heading to the space elevator.'_

Why would Harling flying towards the space elevator, and into a furball with missiles flying in every direction? The elevator can't be damage by the air to air missiles everyone is armed with. There's no reason to perform a suicide mission! -ding!

_'Cutscene shows Harling's transport shot down.'_

Of course this mission would end in failure. But damn! It looks like you pulled the trigger on Harling. Talk about a punch to the gut. Take off two sins.

_'Trigger, you are suspected of assassinating the former president. There will be an inquiry. There will most probably be a court-martial.'_

Wow. so much for innocent until proven guilty. And it doesn't seem like the prosecutors looked at the gun camera footage to confirm if Trigger did fire a missile or not. -ding!


	3. Chapter 3

Ch 3

'_Scene shows Avril working on an F-15'_

It's just one person? No other mechanics? How the hell does this 'base' have any planes up and running? -ding!

'_They threw each of them in a cockpit and sent them up to intercept the enemy's planes. But in the end it was all just for show.'_

If your convicts aren't allowed to use their weapons to defend themselves, and you're also having them sortie again and again, how are they still alive?! They are flying with no munitions against enemy fighter escorts who are armed to the teeth! They should all be dead by the time Trigger arrives! -ding(2)!

'_The new guy was found guilty by the IUN peacekeeping force's court martial.'_

Yeah, because those guys are real competent. -ding!

'_A few of you know how to fly, and HQ needs to plug the deficit in our air-force.'_

Really? Sure the war with Yuktobania was a massive one and cost Osea plenty of soldiers, but are you that low on pilots? Don't you guys have any reserves left? -ding!

'_I thought Zapland was supposed to be an isolated area.'_

You guys built this base to be used as a dummy to trick the Eruseans away from your real forces. It's not isolated. -ding!

'_I wonder how many we'll lose today.'_

Once again. How are these convicts still alive if they're going up against the Erusean air-force with no weapons? -ding!

'_Spare 8! Champ! This is the control tower. You are not cleared for takeoff! Obey orders!... go to hell!'_

Champ blatantly disregards orders and cuts in front of everyone, endangering the lives of his fellow pilots. -ding!

'_Woohooo! My blood's boiling!... toss the chump in solitary! Spare 8, when you land your ass is grass!'_

Knock off a sin for that.

'_Anyone want to bet on that?'_

Spare 7, high roller engages in betting pools while in the middle of combat. -ding!

'_So no missiles again. The FCS is locked.'_

Again, how are these pilots still alive if they can't fire at the Erusean pilots? -ding!

'_One more thing. Any aircraft leaving the operation area will be shot down. You hear me?'_

Shot down with what? The game doesn't elaborate on that, and your own pilots have their weapons locked. Besides, the Eruseans will most likely pick off any stragglers who will attempt to leave. -ding!

'_Shit! The enemy just hit the control tower!...what's with all the shaking?'_

Your co-worker just said that you guys are being bombed. It seems your 'fake base' idea didn't work. -ding!

'_Do not let the enemy get closer! Are you trying to kill me?'_

First, the enemy is getting closer because your pilots can't fire their weapons thanks to your interference. And the Eruseans are trying to kill you. All the fancy flying isn't going to stop the Eruseans from dropping high-explosives on the control tower. -ding(2)!

'_Allright, i'm assuming command. All aircraft, support me.'_

Count is a narcissist. And you're talking to criminals about covering your ass. And everyone knows you were thrown in for fraud. Why would any support you? -ding!

'_Who's going to dance to your lying tune?'_

Knock off a sin for honesty.

'_I'll show you all how it's done.'_

Yeah, you're talking about your skills while Trigger is gunning down bombers left and right. -ding!

'_Trigger, keep an eye on your headcount. We can compare later… yeah. I'm betting that report will get dressed up real pretty.'_

Trigger is going to win this contest without even moving a finger. -ding!

'_No, only one of them is skilled.'_

That's ace combat 7 in a nutshell. Your wingman are useless even if you're in the beginning, middle, or end of the game. Even the LRSSG are useless! -ding!

'_Lucky shot.'_

Count is jealous because Trigger is taking care of all the enemies. Mouthing off about your skills is useless compared to someone who actually gets the job done. -ding!

'_At least he's decent at what he's famous for.'_

What, being a competent fighter pilot? Something that few at this base know anything about? -ding!

'_I wouldn't go that far. Targets that slow aren't a challenge.'_

Oh fuck you, count! -ding!

'_Don't let it go to your head, murderer.'_

Count, you let things go to your head. And if you keep on mocking Trigger as a murder, it would be real easy for him to murder you in a battle. Ever heard of fragging? -ding!

'_All aircraft follow me! You to murderer!'_

It's a shame ace combat 7 doesn't allow you to kill your wingman at will. -ding!

'_Trigger, don't get shot down now. I got good money riding on your survival.'_

Then you're in luck, spare 7. -ding!

'_You don't need to yap to pull the trigger.'_

Count doesn't have the mental capacity to understand that simple sentence. -ding!

'_Can't believe these things used to be scrap. Just what kind of magic does she have up her sleeve anyway?'_

Once again. Does your base have any more mechanics than Avril? By all accounts of logic and reason, one person can't maintain a fleet of aircraft, even if that fleet is very small! -ding!

'_Trigger got most of them. Maybe even all of them.'_

That's only possible because planes in ace combat can carry hundreds of missiles. Also, everyone else is fucking incompetent. -ding!

'_I lost a lot of money for that, Trigger. Don't forget.'_

Bandog is a sore loser. -ding!

'_Did i say you could take down the enemy? Throw anyone who disobeys into solitary.'_

McKinsey is worse than Perrault could ever hope to be. Your pilots just saved your ass, and you reward them for throwing them into solitary? -ding!

'_From time to time, i'd catch myself looking at them.'_

Dr Schroeder, are you a closet pedophile? -ding!

'_They were such enthralling creatures.'_

You yourself said they were under 18 years old! And Mihaly and his squadron are sitting right there! Mihaly looks like he could kill you with a single punch, and you choose to have an inner monologue about his granddaughters! -ding(3)!

'_Yet what is a nation? Can we actually see the physical lines that divide one from another?'_

Deft Fletcher has your answer. "A nation is comprised of the individuals who live within its borders." -ding!

'_One day, a classmate of Mihaly's granddaughters visited.'_

The princess arrives using an Erusean military transport plane. Does Erusea not have any civilian airplanes, like a 747, 737 etc for their political leaders to travel on? -ding!

'_We've been unavailable to verify the base's ability to deal with enemy fighters.'_

Did Erusea take away all of Osea's spy and military satellites? It would explain their ineptness. -ding!

'_Trigger, you're rocking it hard.'_

Take off a sin for praise.

'_Lets be honest here. Irregulars like us aren't allowed to resupply. But in your heart, you want us to smash this base. And i off?'_

If only count was this level-headed during the rest of the game. -ding!

Also, take off a sin for this amazing background music.

'_You're our official flyswatter, Trigger.'_

Trigger would be if you losers were competent at your jobs. -ding!

'_I'm being shot at! What is this bullshit!'_

You're attacking a large base with lots of anti-air defense and defense fighters. Of course they're shooting at you. -ding!

'_Are you freelancing as a priest as well as a jailor?'_

Bandog doesn't answer. -ding!

'_Damn enemy hiding in a place like this. They could at least make themselves easier to hit!'_

Count doesn't understand that in war, you want to maximize your chances of survival, and force your enemy to fight on your terms. How is he still alive? -ding!

'_A bribe is all you need to look into a terminal. It's amazing how many people write their passwords on a note by their desk.'_

Fullband, who are you trying to bribe? The base commander? And is security at Zapland so lax? -ding!

'_Cutscene shows drones flying in.'_

Toaster squadron to the rescue. -ding!

'_Trigger crashed. Drooling idiot.'_

Except that Trigger was flying thru the tunnel. Weren't you keeping track of him? -ding!

'_No, he flew into the tunnel. He's crazy.'_

Tunnel flying she be a practiced skill for the newer pilots joining the airforce. -ding!

'_You really are good at murdering people, Trigger. Too easy for someone who's used to killing presidents.'_

Here's your next unfortunate cinema-sins narrator. Also, ace combat 7 doesn't allow you to kill your wingman to shut them up. -ding(2)!

'_I got a bet on me getting out of this…'_

Fullband, one of the more decent convicts, is killed. It's a shame his character wasn't fleshed out more. -ding!

'_Continue the operation! Deserters will be punished!'_

Except in the next mission, Count and other pilots will retreat, breaking orders. They are not executed as they deserve. -ding!

'_This isn't even a fight. You want to lose all your pilots?'_

Knock off a sin for common sense.

'_I'm getting behind Trigger. Stick with the best if you want to live.'_

Tabloid shows common sense. Take off a sin.

'_Poor decision on your part. I still got top score.'_

Count is the opposite of Tabloid. No common sense. -ding!

'_Count, man you're useless.'_

That's what i said. Take off another sin.

'_Everyone knows you inflate your numbers.'_

Is that why he's called count? -ding!

'_Trigger, the one with the highest score wins.'_

Count, you're going to lose another kill count. Pun intended. -ding!

'_You're not like the one's who scurried back to the base, Trigger. I'll give you that.'_

But the next mission, i'll abandon you and leave you to face Mr X by himself. -ding!

'_Count, missile!'_

Tabloid is a better wingman than count. It's a shame he doesn't fly with Trigger for the whole game. -ding!

'_I've shot down six...bullshit. You're still on two.'_

Bandog isn't taking any of Tabloid's BS. knock off a sin.

'_Where's your sense of humor, guy? Your buddy's making a joke. Laugh already.'_

Joking about a person's death is cruel. But if you want, i'll laugh when you get shot down. -ding!

'_However some of you crossed the line for supplies and repairs. This will result in solitary. Take them!'_

Mckinsey is punishing his pilots for following his orders. -ding!


	4. Chapter 4

Ch 4

_'You know, i've received a medal for my ingenuity in finding a use for you cons.'_

Now you need an apple to complete being an asshole. -ding!

_'Due to certain factors, their return route has been changed.'_

The game does not expand on the factors that changed the return route. -ding!

_'Wait. who's the dumbass who came up with this batshit plan?'_

Weren't you at the briefing spare 8? -ding!

_'This is a joke. It has to be.'_

It's not a joke since you're seeing the cliffs. -ding!

_'The regular forces' recon plane is deep inside Erusea?'_

Count, were you asleep during the briefing? -ding!

_'They're investigating the ruins. That's all i know.'_

Forshadowing. -ding!

_'I need missions that can improve my score. Not this crap.'_

Count is an egotistical ass. -ding!

_'All 444 aircraft, destroy the UAVs… that's impossible!'_

No, it's perfectly possible. Just put the gunsight on the drone's rear and pull the trigger. -ding!

_'I'm not flying in there to help some assholes i don't know shit about.'_

Champ would rather sit on his ass and risk having the drones come after the 444 squadron after cyclops and strider squadron are killed. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows lightning strike on plane.'_

While the idea was sound, the implementation is terrible. You're on a timed mission, and the lightning strike not only throws your plane off course, it also disables your HUD, so you can't find and destroy the drones as quickly as possible. Also, the lightning strike(s) are unpredictable, so there is no trick to avoid getting hit by lightning. -ding(4)!

_'As they say in my house, there's a thin line between bravery and stupidity.'_

And we all know where you lay on that line, Count. -ding!

_'All cowards, go hide in the thunderclouds like Trigger.'_

Hey genius, Trigger is the only one killing the drones. Everyone else is running around with their heads cut off. -ding!

_'What's with the 444, there all over the place… hell, they don't have a formation.'_

It's a squadron of convicts. What did you expect? -ding!

_'You'll let the devil with three lines go free after that?'_

Free from what? Bandog was only praising Trigger for doing his job. -ding!

_'Cutscene shows Mihaly and spare 8 dogfighting, resulting in spare 8's death.'_

Take off 3 sins for Mihaly's superb flying skills.

_'I want to understand the enemy.'_

Mihaly is the only enemy in the ace combat series who's read the art of war. -ding!

_'What's with this guy? That's an Su-30.'_

Yeah, a standard 4++ generation fighter jet. It's no X-02, so don't shit your pants bandog. -ding!

_'You told us our jobs are done. I'm going home.'_

That pilot is either going to be shot down by Sol squadron, or be executed for desertion. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows Mihaly and Trigger dogfighting.'_

This duel is amazing. You and Mr X are dogfighting in a canyon with strong winds and lightning strikes all around. You're forced to use every trick in the book to keep up with Mihaly, and if the duel continues long enough, your fellow pilots will comment on Mihaly's skills, even wondering if he's human. Knock off 8 sins.

_'My status? Well i'm feeling a little excited.'_

Meet our resident badass, Mihaly 'Archangel' Shilage. Take off a sin.

_'Missile hit… he took it in a non-vital area. I'll teach it to you when we get back.'_

Breaking the fourth wall. -ding!

_'Wiseman, we don't want to mess with this guy! It's clear by the way he flies. Way out of my league.'_

Wait, an air combat game where your wingman know their limits against new and powerful threat? Take off two sins.

_'Exactly the man we didn't want to run into.'_

The dialogue implies that the LRSSG pilots had an encounter with Mihaly early in the war, but there's no follow up, no story to tell. -ding!

_'Warning! Warning!'_

Mihaly is pushing his body to the limits in this duel. Knock off a sin for pure grit.

_'You're telling me there's only two guys taking on the orange guy?...no just one.'_

Yeah, because the rest of our pilots chickened out like the cowards they are. -ding!

_'Three white lines. Do they signify something?'_

Yeah, they're prisoner markings. -ding!

_'You do your jobs, and i'll do mine.'_

Mihaly take on the dangerous threats, making sure his squadron is out of harms way. Take off a sin.

_'Trigger, kindness get you killed.'_

Oh fuck you, count! Trigger and Tabloid were taking on Mihaly, putting their lives on the line, while you and everyone else decided to run! -ding(2)!

_'Our team had some air-force hotdogs. Real experienced pilots.'_

And said pilots turned and ran when Mihaly showed up. Some experience. -ding!

_'You returned without permission, and failed as escorts.'_

Bandog ordered us to return, you dumbass. -ding!

_'So how about you rethink your value while in solitary.'_

Is that the punishment for deserting your wingman in a high-stakes dogfight? Shouldn't you execute the deserting pilots and reward those who stood their ground? But if they did, the squadron would just be Trigger, Tabloid, and maybe a few others. The potential for a plot of this magnitude is wasted. -ding(3)

_'He always had this dumb grin on his face, like he didn't give a damn about whatever he did to get thrown into jail in here with the rest of us.'_

It's a shame Tabloid's character wasn't fleshed out more. And since he's more reliable than Count, it's a shame he isn't our official wingman. Instead, Trigger get stuck with useless count. -ding!

_'You won't disobey a second time. Do not test my patience.'_

You only threw the pilots into solitary, after they completed their mission! If you wanted to show your authority to the cons, you should have executed some of the deserting pilots to show a message: obey your orders, or you die. -ding!

_'The biggest threat to our forces is the enemy's enormous swarm of drones.'_

Those drones crippled your navy at the beginning of the war, and have been used in Erusea's blitz. It's taken you this long to realize the danger they pose? -ding!

_'You will destroy the enemy's fuel plant.'_

Erusea has an army of killer drones, and only one fuel plant to keep them all up and running. -ding!

_'Champ when down crying like a baby. I knew he was all bark and no bite. The coward.'_

Okay, champ was reckless going after Mihaly, but at least he made an effort. You and everyone else, except Trigger and maybe Tabloid, are all bark and no bite. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows Trigger destroying the many fuel tanks.'_

This is a fun mission. After the tension of going against Mihaly, flying around and blowing shit up is cathartic. Knock off a sin.

_'A fighter pilot needs to fight. Mission's like this are too easy.'_

Worst. Wingman. Ever. Count, you don't decide your missions. And if you wanted to fight so badly, where the hell were you during the duel with Mihaly? -ding!

_'Trigger, you're just quietly plugging away. You think you're the only sane one here?'_

Yes. -ding!

_'I belong in the penal unit. Trigger, you belong here even more than i do.'_

Tabloid is real proud of whatever sin he did to be thrown into prison. -ding!

_'Hey Trigger, why do you think this war keeps dragging on? It's because countries exist.'_

Discount Solo-wing Pixy. -ding!

_'Shouting that and throwing a rock is what got me in here.'_

Osea has got to be the Soviet Union and Stalin is running the show. There's no good reason to be thrown into a hard-core penal unit just for voicing your opinions and some light destruction of property. -ding!

_'Why are they popping on and off on radar?'_

The year is 2019, yet your weapons and radar can be stumped by simple clouds. -ding!

_'Staring at my radar and trolling? This is not my style.'_

You're right. Your style is mouthing off about your supposed skill set, and run like a little bitch when an enemy ace shows up. -ding!

_'You guys do whatever you want. I'm going off by myself.'_

Count decides to fly around like an idiot, instead of helping Trigger take out the tanker trucks. -ding!

_'They're coming from the north. Did they pick up Count's aircraft?'_

That's a confirmed yes. -ding!

_'Wait a sec. Don't go blaming me.'_

We're blaming you. -ding!

_'Damn count for dragging us into this shit!.. Shut the hell up. This has nothing to do with me.'_

That might be true. But if you weren't flying so brazenly towards Erusean territory, the drones may have come later than later. -ding!

_'Don't tell me you're taking out drones for your squadron now, are you? They're not your friends. They're convicts just like you. Just worry about saving your own skin. The other idiots have their hands full with the drones.'_

Bandog, taking down the drones will make hunting the tankers go easier. And it'll save my own skin. And the rest of the squadron isn't taking care of the drones, so that leave Trigger to do it. -ding!

_'The weapon's system's acting up. I can't fight like this. I'm gonna break off.'_

Everyone else is fighting in the sandstorm, and they have the same problems with their electronics. -ding!

_'Must have been straining to hear from high altitude...seems you've learned nothing in the sky, Count.'_

Bandog and the other pilots are correct. -ding!

_'Well, yeah. It's not like there's anything i can learn from Trigger.'_

You have a lot to learn from Trigger. -ding!


	5. Chapter 5

Ch 5

_'...while you sit on your ass and get medals… You! Solitary, now!'_

Mckinsey punishes a pilot for simply speaking out of turn during a meeting. Is he firelord Ozai in disguise? -ding!

_'Unless you have a death wish, you must use the clouds for cover around the sides and base of the mountains. Use the clouds to hide from their satellites…'_

Even advanced spy satellites in the upper atmosphere of earth can't see thru simple clouds on a day that has no storms. Erusea should have bought satellites from Belka instead of trying to hack the useless Osean satellites. -ding!

_'If you do find a missile on your tail, head to the clouds and pray.'_

Fuck this mission to the darkest circles of hell! This is the tango line and four horsemen of ace combat 7! No, check that. This mission is ace combat assault horizon levels of terrible! The radar doesn't give an accurate view of the topography, so you'll end up above the clouds trying to hunt down the radar sites. And no matter how many countermeasures you dump out, or what kind of high maneuver stunts you can pull, the missile will hit you! Even flooring it to get beneath the cloud cover isn't a guarantee for success. -ding(10)!

_'Gameplay of mission is shown.'_

The only redeeming part of this mission is the soundtrack. Take off a sin.

_'Gameplay shows F-18 drones appearing.'_

Rip-off of 8492 squadron is rip-off. -ding!

_'Modern IFF is connected to our strategic system via satellites. It can't be decoded!'_

Erusea hacked at least half of your satellites! If they can take over your satellites, it would be easy to crack one open and figure out all your secrets, including your IFF! How the hell is Osea even fighting this war?! -ding(3)!

_'Who's on my tail? Is it an enemy?'_

If it's firing weapons at you, it's probably an enemy. -ding!

_'Hey, the enemy's working in coordination!'_

Count has got to be the dumbest character in the ace combat series. They're an enemy squadron of equal size trying to kill your squadron. Of course they're working in coordination. -ding!

_'All aircraft, gather around me- I mean Trigger!'_

Knock off a sin for Tabloid keeping his cool and using his brains during a chaotic situation. Also, since Trigger is the only pilot with three strikes on his plane, it's an easy mark to see.

_'What?'_

Count is jealous he isn't being labeled squadron leader. -ding!

_'Bandog, can you register Trigger and the blips around him as friendlies?'_

If Tabloid was allowed to fly with the LRSSG as Trigger's wingman, the game would have been much different with his cunning and wits in play. -ding!

_'Fullband, what's your location?'_

Foreshadowing. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows Count killing Fullband, per Bandog's orders.'_

While it first appears cruel of Bandog to suddenly have Fullband killed like that, there is actually a good reason. In the past missions, including this one, Fullband was always talking about gathering top secret intel that no prisoner should have access to. And he's been talking about it over the airways, implicating the squadron. If Osean higher ups found out, the entire squadron could face the firing squad. Bandog's sentence saved the surviving squad members from a more cruel fate.

Youtuber, Ace Combat Fan, has a video that explains it. Take off two sins. And take off another sin for a great youtuber.

_'Hold on Count. It looks like your kill numbers are going up every day. You know what happens by giving false reports. Anyway, you other pilots should learn from him.'_

Learn from Count? They should learn from Trigger! Count inflating his kill count is doing nothing to help his actual skills as a pilot. And if McKinsey suspected Count was inflating his numbers, why didn't he punish him? -ding!

_'The funny thing is, no one here remembers i've got a bum leg and i'm not a soldier.'_

Once again, great example of Osean justice at work. -ding!

_'Some genius thought we could commander the enemy's jets they left in the hangers and use those to fight.'_

That genius is a dumbass. Once the fight starts, the Eruseans will send up all available planes to fight, and since the Oseans have no air cover, that will ensure the operation to fail. And even if the Oseans manage to take the airport and drive the Eruseans away, the Eruseans will most likely destroy any planes they can't transport back to the mainland.

Also, the Oseans have been doing everything to get the elevator back since it's a highly strategic location. And this operation will ensure they will be much closer to their goals, but they don't do anything to ensure its success. Seriously, doesn't Osea have any competent leaders any more?! -ding!

_'You are covered with Harling's blood, yet you're still messing around behind the scenes. You breath in a way i don't like and i'll shoot you out of the sky.'_

What is this asshole's problem? Trigger is the best pilot on the base, and he's escorting McKinsey. -ding!

_'Spare 15 take off… i hope we meet again in different squadrons.'_

Take off a sin for friendship.

_'Gameplay shows Trigger shooting down Mckinsey's transport, earning 1000 points.'_

It's a shame you fail the mission if Mckinsey dies by your hand or the enemies. -ding!

_'The enemy's using anti-air weapons. Don't freak out. Keep your shit together.'_

Now that's calling the kettle black. -ding!

_'The general staff office has the impression you didn't kill Harling, Trigger…'_

And it's taken them this long to figure it out? Fucking incompetent. -ding!

_'Escorts that go down, do so in honorable service, worthy of my praise.'_

You've been belittling your 'escorts' since the start. And you only have two fighter escorts. Do you really want them to go down? -ding!

_'Flying as an escort makes me feel all tied down.'_

Then get your head out of your ass and take out those SAM sites! -ding(2)!

_'More SAM sites. There are more than we expected.'_

You didn't expect that the Eruseans would fill the combat zone with as much anti-air weapons as possible? -ding!

_'Damn! They're firing surface to air missiles at me!'_

Then move out of the damn way! -ding!

_'Count looks promising. He's got a good combat record.'_

Oh fuck you, McKinsey. And fuck you to, Count. Last mission, McKinsey was suspecting Count of inflating his record. And now he apparently forgot about it.

Also, who stayed with Trigger to take on Mr X? Tabloid.

Who fled and left Trigger to die against mr X? Count.

Who drew the drones to the operation at the oil facility and stayed above the clouds while everyone else was engaged in heavy combat? Count.

And who was doing his best to keep the drones off of Trigger's tail during said operation? Tabloid.

Who came up with the idea for everyone to rally around Trigger when shit hit the fan last mission? Tabloid.

Who didn't do such a thing, despite boasting about his supposed flight skills? Count.

It's a shame ace combat 7 doesn't allow you to kill Count. -ding(5)!

_'Yikes, i forgot about the transport. Is it still flying?'_

That's okay Count. In the heat of the battle, we forgot about you. And the transport is still flying, unfortunately. -ding!

_'Look below. Is that a wall?'_

Bulgudarest is building the wall, and the Eruseans are paying for it. Also, all that's remaining is the night walkers, titans, Drachmans, and a large metal drill with an emblem of fire, all marching towards the wall. -ding!

_'Trigger, it's a breath of fresh air having out here… in our squadron even the good pilots were criminals. You don't stink like them, Trigger.'_

Thanks Bandog. Take off two sins.

_'Count, you were convicted of fraud. You sure as hell don't live up to your name… you wouldn't understand, Count. Not unless you take a good look in the mirror.'_

Take off another sin for Bandog putting Count in his place and dropping the mic.

_'Wilco. I was just about to ask if i could do that myself.'_

Count was whining about how escort missions keep him tied down, and before he was saying that a fighter pilot needed to fight. Now when a super drone appears, he has the opportunity to engage the drone in pure air to air combat and put his money where his mouth is. But he outright tells Bandog and Trigger that he's a coward who'll back away from a strong enough threat, like Mihaly or this drone. -ding(2)!

_'Spare 2, stay alert. When you get there, the responsibility's on you… Negative.'_

Did spare 2 refuse an order to engage the drone? -ding!

_'This is base commander McKinsey. I apologise on that asshole. He really screwed up. He didn't listen to my order to stand down. I'm certain he'll be punished for taking down the unidentified aircraft.'_

Is it too late to go ahead and murder McKinsey? And if Trigger didn't engage the drone, you'd be dead McKinsey. -ding!

_'Your commander has been transferred to a different post. He's probably heading to the front lines where things are hottest. Well, he did stress his achievements.'_

Thank god for sweet Karma. Hopefully he gets killed. Preferably fragged by his own soldiers. Take off a sin.


	6. Chapter 6

Ch 6

_'Trigger, how come you're number one and i'm stuck as number two?'_

You're part of an elite air-force squadron, with a clean slate added to boot. And you're already whining because you didn't get to lead a squadron? -ding!

_'Gameplay shows Trigger destroying the platform.'_

That is very cathartic. Knock off two sins.

_'Stop treating me like a newborn chick. I've shot down my fair share of enemies.'_

No you haven't. You're just relying on your inflated score. -ding!

_'Just stick with your mother hen, and you'll get back to the roost safe and sound.'_

Knock off a sin for Wiseman.

_'Man, how long have you been under this guy, must be a pain.'_

Count doesn't like getting a taste of his own medicine. -ding!

_'Count, this mother hen plans to keep you alive for a long time. So get used to it.'_

Much like Mihaly, Wiseman looks after his squadron and wants them to survive the fighting as long as possible. Knock off a sin.

_'What a pain in the ass.'_

And Count doesn't appreciate that his superior is watching his back. What a dick. -ding!

_'He's one of the few with the skills to face mister X and live to tell the tale.'_

Knock off another sin for appreciation. And he's telling his wingman not to worry about Mihaly, since Trigger is with them to cover their backs.

_'Trigger's one of the pilots who's been up against the demon in the experimental squadron. Chased them off solo too, since support ran off. I was there myself. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Trigger. You see what i'm getting at?... if you were one of those 'escorts' who flew off, you should watch your back.'_

Knock off two more sins for Huxian narrating the Yinshi valley duel from her perspective, and putting Count in his place.

_'Come on, that's enough, right? Lets get out of here.'_

Count doesn't seem to care that destroying the enemy bases will severely cripple Erusea's ability to wage war. His true colors are showing when he's paired up with a bunch of hard-ass pilots. -ding!

_'Is Jaeger teaching our hatchling how to fly?... hey knock that off, would you?'_

Count has been bad-mouthing Trigger and the other convicts since the beginning, but he can't take the same manner of criticisms, even if it's just playful banter between the pilots. -ding!

_'Njord has heavy damage. Catapults are no longer working.'_

Njord is a Kuznetsov class carrier, which uses a forward ramp to launch its aircraft, not catapults like the Osean carriers have. -ding!

_'The old squad was bad, and i guess it's no different here. I could really perform if only i had some partners i could trust.'_

Count is still complaining even after the mission was a success. -ding!

_'Mission 12: Stonhenge defensive.'_

Knock off 10 sins. We're going back to Stonhenge!

_'Opening briefing for mission.'_

The LRSSG commander sums up ace combat 4 for the uninitiated. Knock off a sin.

_'Operation dragon's breath.'_

A rather appropriate name for the superweapon. Knock off a sin.

_'Opening cutscene shows the various railguns; most are destroyed. One is aiming at the sky.'_

Knock off another sin.

Knock off two more sins for the background music; a nice callback to the stonehenge themes in ace combat 4.

_'So that's Stonehenge. It's bigger than i imagined. Uglier too.'_

Huxian has no respect for long-dead superweapons. -ding!

_'Whoever's flying the plane with three strikes, i'm buying you a beer later.'_

You should ask Trigger if he drinks alcohol before you waste your money. -ding!

_'I'll just be stitching on my lost limbs. Should be back before lunch.'_

That better be a joke. -ding!

_'This is Glitnir. I shut that stupid alarm clock.'_

Even in Strangreal, alarm clocks are annoying and suffer death and dismemberment at the hands of their owners. -ding!

_'Time to bomb stonehenge back to the stone age.'_

Rhyming. -ding!

_'But that damn Osean army. Why did they have to go and use civilians as their survey techs?'_

Osea doesn't care about their own civilians, putting them in high danger areas, such as this slugfest at Stonehenge. Osea, a global force for good. -ding(2)!

Also, the Erusean operative expresses remorse for killing civilians to complete his mission. Has Osea ever expressed remorse for murdering thousands of civilians during their many wars? -ding!

_'Missile away, Bon voyage.'_

Wait. France doesn't exist in Strangereal. -ding!

_'A swarm of UAVs has launched from the arsenal bird. Keep them away from stonehenge.'_

This has got to be the closest we'll get to an ace combat battlestar galactica crossover. The machines appear from a massive carrier and swarm the humans with large numbers, firing their guns and missiles. And the outnumbered humans have to destroy the mechanical carrier with powerful railgun(s), and hold off the drones at the same time. Knock off three sins for story telling.

_'We still have sensors. Our eyes. The oldest sensors in the book.'_

Knock off a sin for improvising on the fly.

_'I'm going. The propellers are too much for Trigger alone.'_

Trigger faced down Mr X and the super drone. Propellers are nothing compared to those two. -ding!

_'You damn glory hound. Do your friggin job!'_

The impact of that sentence is weaker than it should be. Huxian should have said 'do your fucking job!'" -ding!

_'Does the angle on this table account for wing and coriolis forces?'_

It's a giant railgun to shoot down asteroids and aircraft. Of course it does! -ding!

_'Cutscene shows Stonehenge destroying the arsenal bird.'_

Knock off another 10 sins.

_'You mean the Osean bigshot.'_

Count, you just survived the hardest fight you've been in, and the war has turned with the pull of a single trigger. Why are you still whining like a little bitch? -ding!


	7. Chapter 7

Ch 7

_'Cutscene of a despondent Rosa seeing one of her past speeches'_

This cutscene is useless. -ding!

_'The destruction of one of the arsenal birds has significantly reduced the scale of Erusea's air defense network.'_

We know already! -ding!

_'...Erusea is feeling the pressure and is reacting by attempting to activate the ballistic missile base in the suburbs of Sierraplata.'_

It's a shame we don't get to have a mission in San Salvacion. It would have been much better than the current one. -ding!

_'Unfortunately, that airspace is thick with clouds at the moment, so it'll be difficult for a bomber to hit the target accurately.'_

Osea doesn't have the technology for their radar and avionics to see thru clouds. And if cloud cover is such a problem, the B1 is capable of flying close to the ground thanks to its ground-reading radar. Why not use those? They're faster than the bombers you'll be using in this mission, and they can carry the same munitions for this attack. This far into the war, and Osea doesn't have their logistics put together. -ding(2)!

_'You'll all be equipped with targeting pods instead of special weapons.'_

That has got to be the dumbest decision ever! Have one or two planes equipped with targeting pods, and everyone else goes in as heavily armed escort fighters. Sure you want the mission to succeed, but it won't work if none of your pilots can effectively fight the mass defenses the Eruseans will have. -ding!

_'Naturally, we assume the enemy has positioned anti-air artillery and aircraft in the area of operations, so stay alert.'_

So why would you have all your planes be gelded by being equipped with targeting pods?! -ding!

_'Did you say fake?'_

No shit, dumbass. Of course the Eruseans are going to try and confuse the Oseans. Didn't you guys have the same idea with your penal base? -ding!

_'The IRBM is aimed at the Osean garrison. Soldier's lives are at stake. And we have no time.'_

The background music is to happy-go-lucky for a mission that is supposed to be filled with tension. Ace combat 5's 'Demons of Razgriz' and Ace combat 0's 'Stage of the Apocalypse' had tense music to add to the atmosphere of stopping the enemy's great threat before it kills more of your allies. In this mission, there's none of that. -ding!

_'Take them out of they interfere with our mission.'_

Take them out with what? The majority of the squadron doesn't have specialized air to air missiles. -ding!

_'This is a serious mission. Was it Wiseman who gave Strider 2 to Count?'_

If so, then he made a rare mistake. Count hasn't shown himself to be reliable in such a high-stakes mission. -ding!

_'Our formation changes every mission.'_

Not that we've noticed. -ding!

_'I'll believe that when i see it. I'm just glad he's not here to chew my ear off.'_

Why did you open your mouth? -ding!

_'I guess once this mission's over, we'll be back under the company commander's thumb again. What a pain in the ass.'_

Count, you complaining and running your mouth off is the reason you're under Wiseman's thumb. Despite being in an elite air-force squadron, you sure don't act like you belong there. WHY IS HE OUR WINGMAN?! -ding(4)!

_'Cutscene shows ballistic missile launching from dam.'_

AWWNB is working for Erusea. -ding!

_'Be sure to include in the report how much ass i kicked while off the company commander's leash.'_

What a dick. -ding!

_'Roger that, and i'll be sure to include all the crap you said about Wiseman too.'_

Knock off a sin for Jaeger.

_'Under the cover of night, our plan is that all squadrons will invade from the valley to the south and mount an air assault on the area.'_

Is this area 88? If so, knock off a sin.

_'The enemy's observation field has eyes on the skies above the valley, so your altitude will need to be restricted.'_

The area 88 vibes are strong with this mission. (1 sin is removed) All that's remaining is Osean redshirts crashing into the valley. -ding!

_'Getting thru the valley is only half the job.'_

And after that, the rest of the mission will be a piece of cake. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows Trigger flying thru canyon, dodging spotlights and choppers.'_

The Eruseans are deaf and blind. -ding!

_'All prisoners of war will be treated in accordance with international law. We've even brought pizza.'_

It's a good thing they were enemy soldiers. If they were enemy civilians, the Oseans would have most likely killed them. -ding!


	8. Chapter 8

Ch 8

_'His reflexes were as sharp as they ever were.'_

Meet our resident badass getting ready for his next sortie. Take off a sin.

_'For Mihaly's second sortie, we used a flight suit that was still untested.'_

He's your top pilot, and you just said he's suffering from the effects of age and radiation poisoning from tests in the upper atmosphere. Why would you send him on another combat mission with a flight suit that wasn't tested to its full parameters? -ding!

_'The suit was ineffective.'_

No shit, Sherlock. -ding!

_'I was confident the new suit would protect him thoroughly, so that he could maneuver his plane any way he wanted.'_

Like you were confident in the untested suit? That's a great vote of confidence. -ding!

_'Cutscene shows Mihaly sharply taking off.'_

What a badass. Also, the soundtrack for this cutscene is amazing. Take off two sins.

_'Mission 15: battle for Farbanti.'_

Take off another 10 sins. We're going back to Farbanti!

_'During this mission, we will also be tasked with having to destroy the communications satellites that Erusea hacked.'_

Forshadowing. -ding!

While the briefing suggests we would participate in the ASAT strike, we don't. It's a shame that wasn't in the game. -ding!

_'We must seize the capital and end this war.'_

Are you going to forget the last arsenal bird that the Eruseans have? -ding!

_'Date: september 19.'_

Erusea is going to lose their capital twice on the same date. Also, it's Skyeye's birthday. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows flooded asteroid crater.'_

That is still ominous as hell. Knock off another sin.

_'They shouldn't have mentioned three strikes in the briefing.'_

Yeah, but he was still going to be present at the battle. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows large stone pillar.'_

Did Erusea built their own Washington Monument? -ding!

_'Gameplay shows Trigger dueling against highly maneuverable A-10.'_

Erusea pulled out the A-10s from Operation Bunkershot out of storage. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows Trigger fighting against MiG-21s.'_

Wow. You know that Erusea has lost the war when they're using the MiG-21 to defend their capital city. -ding!

_'The harder the battle, the less likely it goes according to plan.'_

Thank you captain obvious. -ding!

_'This is stork. There are small boats hiding in the ruins.'_

Take off a sin for Erusea using the available territory/terrain to their advantage.

_'Gameplay shows Erusean boats moving within the ruins.'_

Take off another sin for the enemy AI actually working.

_'Don't know what medals they have for you, but if you want one, come back in one piece!'_

Foreshadowing. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows 'Aegis ashore' targeted.'_

The Eruseans managed to beach an Aegis warship and set it up? Okay. -ding!

_'Man, don't jinx us.'_

Exactly! -ding!

_'Cutscene shows Sol squadron arriving to the fight; Mihaly is taking out Osean warships left and right.'_

Sol squadron followed Yellow and Strigon squadron's rule of arriving to defend your capital at the very last second. -ding!

But unlike yellow and Strigon team, Sol squadron makes their appearance by killing their enemies. Sure the capital may be lost, but we'll take more of you with us. Knock off a sin.

_'Gameplay shows Trigger engaging Sol squadron, shooting down several of Mihaly's wingman.'_

Even if you managed to shoot down all of his wingman, they will still appear later in the game. -ding!

_'No, no, no! Who are these guys?!'_

It's Sol squadron, comprised of Mihaly and his wingman. You would know this if you engaged the squadron at Yinshi valley. Also, does Osea not have intel regarding Erusea's top ace squadron? The same squadron that make Osean pilots shit their pants in fear upon being seen, let alone mentioned? -ding!

_'Eject... while you can still talk.'_

Take off a sin for Mihaly showing common sense and caring for his wingman.

_'Alright, he grabbed the bait. Time to take him for a ride!'_

He's not stuck up here with you. You're stuck up here with him. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows Mihaly and Trigger dueling within the crumbling city.'_

Take off a sin.

_'He wasn't a bad pilot.'_

Take off another sin for respect.

_'I can't do it. Trigger should take command… the duty is yours!'_

Karma is a bitch, isn't it sir Count? You wanted command of the squadron, well here it is. You wanted a fight to show off your skills? Well here it is. Take off three sins for reality slapping Count in the face and kicking him in the nuts.

_'Gameplay shows radar and electronics going off.'_

While not on the scale of the 7 pillars of Belka, it's still impressive. Knock off a sin.

_'So Wiseman died for nothing.'_

Oh, now you care about Wiseman. -ding!

_'Only military satellites were targeted. However, their destruction created a debris field which wiped out scores of other satellites… both private and government owned.'_

How many military satellites were in orbit before the shit hit the fan? -ding!

_'All that remained was chaos and confusion.'_

It's Ulysses 2.0. But now it's the result of ruined satellites instead of asteroids. -ding!

_'Insurgencies were everywhere.'_

With the capital fallen and the sat network gone, Erusea is now looking like the earth kingdom after the earth queen was killed by Zaheer. Did project aces take inspiration and notes from watching Legend of Korra? -ding!

_'I even heard a rumor that a group of Osean convicts had rebelled.'_

Does this group murder McKinsey? Sure hope so. -ding!

_'It was a wise decision to make our drones autonomous with AI instead of being radio controlled. Wise and forward thinking.'_

You're making the same mistake the creators of Skynet and the Cylons made. -ding!

_'Oh. and… i'll be taking the girls too.'_

That line sounds creepy. The closeup to his face only makes it worse. And why aren't the girls with their grandfather at Shilage castle? -ding!

_'The plane had a rose emblem on it.'_

That plane will never find a safer place. -ding!

_'With the capital under our control…'_

How do you know the capital is under Osean control? With communications gone, you have no way of knowing the status of Farbanti. -ding!

Also, there is no briefing music for this mission. Rather brilliant, since it conveys the somber situation the LRSSG find themselves in. take off a sin.

_'Are you really friendlies? Over.'_

If they weren't friendlies, you'd know in a few seconds. -ding!

_'Long caster, are all these really unknowns?'_

Your briefing officer just told you all targets, friendly and otherwise will be marked as unknown. Don't you ever pay attention to the briefings? -ding!

_'Gameplay shows Trigger fighting in the city.'_

This mission layout is amazing. It's a combination of 0's 'the inferno', 5's 'reprisal' and 4's 'emancipation'. Take off two sins.

_'Give me Strider's ID's. And hand me that sandwich.'_

Erusea, if not the rest of the world, is on the verge of succumbing to anarchy and chaos. And you're concerned about eating a sandwich in the middle of a dangerous situation? -ding!

The background music is amazing. Take off another sin.

_'Put out your smokes. Three strikes will find you.'_

The city is highly lit, and large fires are coming from destroyed war machines. I doubt the pilots can see a lit cigarette/cigar in the middle of the mess. -ding!

_'Get closer and find out if it's an enemy vehicle.'_

You should let your escort fighters deal with that. -ding!

_'Trigger is engaging F-18 drones.'_

Shout-out to Area 88 manga is shout-out. -ding!

_'...we'll be in arms reach of the rendezvous at Grunder park.'_

The Belkan company has a part of an Erusean city named after them. Their influence is spreading. -ding!

_'What's wrong with drones?...'_

You clearly haven't seen Battlestar Galactica, Terminator, or the Matrix. -ding!

_'Our capital's fall has led to another power struggle within the Erusean military…'_

When was the first power struggle? -ding!

_'The drive… They're missing the drive!'_

What's this drive you're talking about? -ding!

_'Cutscene shows Lebarth's chopper being shot down by an F-16.'_

So much for your last hope. -ding!

_'In order to respond to the attack on the base…'_

What attack on the base? Sure the communications network is down, but your base should still be able to contact Longcaster and Strider squadron. We didn't hear about this. -ding!


	9. Chapter 9

Ch 9

_'They hadn't gotten a handle on things by the time we got there, so now we were stuck in the middle of a half-assed campaign.'_

No shit. If you had air support instead of trying to take the air base with only a ground assault, you may have been able to take the island. Osean leadership for you. -ding!

_'The last transmission i heard about before everything went to shit, was that some prisoners from an Osean military penal unit rioted and managed to escape. They stole some jets and now, they were flying around, taking out their former allies left and right.'_

Considering how Osea treats their prisoners, this was bound to happen sooner or later. And if prisoners could steal state of the art fighter jets and escape, then how few guards does Osea have for their military penal bases? -ding!

_'It was an Erusean liaison plane.'_

Princess Rosa somehow survives this crash. -ding!

_'Today, i lost everything.'_

Well, you did declare war on a superpower. What did you think was going to happen? -ding!

_'My dog went after him and they shot him to pieces.'_

Press F for doggo. -ding!

_'Now, regarding Count's suggestion to think about self defense…'_

We got to go to Farbanti and Stonehenge. But we didn't get to go to Megalith?! One of the most famous superweapons in the ace combat series, and we don't get to see it in Ace Combat 7. I demand a refund! -ding(3)!

_'They're on the run?'_

Yeah. It means that your forces have been forced into a route and are fleeing for their lives. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows numerous Oseans needing help.'_

This mission is Ace Combat: Dunkirk. While the background music is great and shows the desperation of the mission, the song 'Supermarine' from the movie Dunkirk also fits. Take off a sin.

_'Don't engage until targets are ID'd.'_

There is no friendly aircraft in the mission. You don't need to ID the airborne targets, just the ground targets. -ding!

_'There's more over there. The bodies of dead civilians. I don't think they were part of the fighting… i just got the photographs. We'll head back to HQ soon. Just give us another 30 minutes… the men say they want to give the children a proper burial… damn those Erusean bastards. These are blatant war crimes!... the spaceport is nearby so they could be researchers and their families. Most likely they were involved with Belka.'_

Children?! The Eruseans are killing the Belkan researchers, their children, and any Eruseans that are aligned with them. This mission, and the next, have got to be some of the most brutal in Ace Combat that truly shows shows the horrors of war. The last time Ace Combat was this dark, was in Ace Combat Zero's 'the inferno' and 'stage of the apocalypse.' take off 5 sins.

_'Right. We leave the wounded… this'll guarantee us a one-way ticket to hell... Pretty sure we're there already.'_

They have to leave their wounded? Talk about a low point in the war. Take off another sin.

_'Commence operation no return!'_

Yeah, because you Erusean bomber pilots won't be returning from this mission. -ding!

_'Plenty of civilian casualties as well. Precision bombing is impossible in these conditions.'_

The Eruseans are copying the Osean's 'operation Hannibal' from the Belkan war. -ding!

_'That voice… so you're still breathing sir count.'_

Only because of Trigger. -ding!

_'I had a feeling the two of you were still alive. Remember, stick with Trigger and you'll make it.'_

Thanks Tabloid. Knock off a sin.

_'Wait, you moron!... what are you doing dumbass?!... Here! Attack right here!'_

Knock off a sin for Rosa growing a spine.

_'Gameplay shows Trigger destroying the Erusean tanks near Rosa and scrap queen. The singing from the refugees is heard.'_

Call back to ace combat 5's supercircus, with the Osean citizens singing in the midst of an air battle raging above them is call back. -ding!

_'That's why i like the sky. You don't have to see those types of things.'_

Count, Solo-wing Pixy would have your head on a silver platter. Solo wing, do the honors. "While you're up here fighting for peace tons of blood is shed on the ground. Some peace, kid… you think you can stop bloodshed by shedding more blood? Flying with all those ideals swimming in your head is gonna get you killed." -ding!

_'They say that Belkans are known for their conspiracies… that's just a stereotype.'_

Take off a sin for breaking the fourth wall. Also, Belka did nothing wrong.

_'I simply stated my honest opinion, and was thrown in jail for it.'_

Only in Osea can stating your honest opinion land you in hard-core prison that's filled with dangerous prisoners such as killers and frauds. -ding!

_'Cutscene shows Avril and Rosa talking about the space elevator.'_

This is a great conversation from two civilians who hail from the opposite warring nations. While Rosa says that the tower extends to outer space and should be destroyed because of the controversy it generated leading to the war, Avril says that the tower leads to the benefit of mankind and that Harling was trying to save the tower from an enemy missile.

It reflects the views of both nations. Erusea sees the tower is something to be feared, a symbol of Osea shoving their presence and influence onto Erusea when they shouldn't. Taking the tower and Arsenal birds from Osea was Erusea giving their enemy a giant middle finger, telling Osea that they couldn't push Erusea around like they did with other nations.

While Osea instead sees the tower as an act of benevolence and unity to the world. It supplied much needed energy to the war-torn Usean continent and it allows humanity to travel to the stars, leaving their scarred world behind. Take off 5 sins.

_'They appear to have converted a freeway into a runway…'_

The Eruseans at this castle are following Yellow Squadron's MO. Seize a freeway and use it for your top ace squadron. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows beginning of mission.'_

This background music is perfect for such a haunting mission. You're ordered to steal food and fuel from the Eruseans at the castle, who have no quarrel with you. The music is cold and eerie, giving a feeling of 'something isn't right.' And that something is descending into piracy ala crimson skies just to have a chance to continue fighting. Knock off 3 sins.

_'They're Erusean refugees. They must be fleeing since the conflict got worse.'_

Way to twist the knife, ace combat 7. Ding!

_'Why are they attacking this base?... don't give up! We're not going to lose our country again!'_

That's quite sad. The Shilagians think that Strider squadron is the vanguard of an invasion force to occupy the country, and they're fighting hard to resist. While your squadron has no intentions, nor the capabilities of occupying the country, stealing the supplies and wiping out the defenders will ensure that they can no longer maintain their feeble independence in the of stronger nations like Erusea. Knock off two sins.

_'Help me!'_

It's just like Hoffnung all over again. -ding!

Also, this is the only mission where Longcaster isn't joking and talking about food. You know things are bad at this point. Knock off a sin.

_'Don't worry. As long as we accelerate inside the tunnel, they won't be able to shoot us down that easily.'_

Take a sin off for badass flying skills.

_'Land immediately and hand over your planes and base to us.'_

What an idiot. You're invading their country. Of course they're resist with all their might! They're not going to hand over the means of survival and freedom to you Oseans! -ding!

_'You defile this country! As long as you're here, this country will never know peace.'_

Sol 2 doesn't hold his tongue and missiles back. Knock off a sin.

_'What the hell do you know about Wiseman?!'_

They know nothing about Wiseman. But Mihaly shows more respect to Wiseman than you ever did during your time under him. -ding!

_'They think they're a band of knights. I hate them even more… they think they're actual nobility...all right, i'm a wild gunman then. Time to shut your mouth.'_

This is a serious and solemn mission. Count running his mouth off is very jarring. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows Mihaly arriving in his X-02, armed to the teeth.'_

Take off a sin for that entry. Also, Mihaly is following Solo wing Pixy's book of arriving to duel your enemy in a superplane after firing a single shot from your arsenal.

_'Don't waste your life. Dedicate it to reclaiming that which you call home… you must find someone to guide you. I am not that person.'_

Mihaly really cares about his squadron. He wants them to succeed in their goals of reclaiming their nation's freedom, and is sending them away from the warzone to ensure that happens. Knock off another sin.

_'Gameplay shows Trigger dueling with Mihaly.'_

The soundtrack for this duel is amazing. It encapsulates a young and rising ace going against an old and well-experienced ace. Knock off a sin.

Also during this duel, Mihaly will taunt you. He'll sometimes tell you to get closer, or say that you're not good enough, among other things. While it's clear Mihaly is enjoying the duel against his rival, he's also running Trigger thru an impromptu school of hard knocks, forcing him to fight harder than before to prepare him against more powerful drones. Mihaly says he wants to see if Trigger is worthy to inherit the title 'king of the skies.' Knock off an additional 6 sins.

_'That's funny. It seems that one of your pilots is also fighting alone… he's not alone. Look around you.'_

True, but Trigger is the only pilot who can go toe to toe against Mihaly. So for all intent and purposes, he is fighting alone. -ding!

_'This was all due to my ego… put a stop to the drone production.'_

Unlike the Belkan pilots in the last mission in ace combat 5, Mihaly acknowledges his guilt and error in his actions that helped start the war. Knock off a sin.

_'The resupply went well…'_

I'm sure the survivors at Shilage castle are happy to know that. -ding!

_'Erusea had a lot up their sleeves.'_

And Mobius 1 turned them all into spare parts and scrap metal. -ding!

_'In war, you never know what's lurking behind the curtains.'_

The illuminati- i mean the Belkan grey men are lurking behind the curtains! -ding!


	10. Chapter 10

Ch 10

_'She pulled the trigger and destroyed the chip.'_

The scene shows the pistol is empty. Did the guard really have only one bullet in his sidearm? -ding!

_'Cuz this guy is a Belkan, and they love to stir shit up.'_

How do you know he's a Belkan? Also that's stereotyping. -ding!

_'The theory was that through war, we could achieve our destiny… and our revenge.'_

That's just plain fucking stupid. -ding!

_'Is this for Belka, or for Erusea?'_

Ionela does have a point. Was making all the drones supposed to help defend Erusea from their enemies, or was Belka using Erusea as a pawn in their revenge against Osea? Knock of a sin.

_'But i no longer have a country to call home anymore.'_

Yeah, because Erusea has fallen into anarchy and civil war, and Shilage is all but ruined after the strider squadron blew it all to hell. -ding!

_'Even though those lands were once cherished by my late mother.'_

Late mother? How did your mother die? And why aren't you and your sister living with your father? Is he also dead? -ding!

_'I'll show you which locations to target.'_

Belka is actually doing the right thing? Take off a sin.

_'The space elevator wasn't designed to exploit Erusea after all…'_

To little to late. -ding!

_'Hey dumbass. If you want to bring the world back from the brink, go to the lighthouse. You can see the future there.'_

Only one person could have sent that message. -ding!

_'Date: October 31, 2019'_

Halloween. -ding!

_'To all who have gathered here, regardless of your country…'_

The only friendly pilots in the area are hailing from the territories of Erusea and Osea. No pilots from Yuktobania, Estovakia, etc are in the coalition. -ding!

_'Brush up on current events later. Focus on the enemy.'_

Count is actually level headed and not mouthing off about his supposed skill set. Knock off a sin.

_'The space elevator is the symbol of the new Erusea. This is where we shall begin our counterattack!'_

You're under attack by a large coalition of pilots who wish to end the war. They have the numbers, you don't. Your counterattack and new Erusea won't live to see the next 24 hours. -ding!

_'Hey Cossette, say hello to everyone.'_

Say hello to your allied pilots who are engaged in a large furball just outside your window. -ding!

_'... skies unknown…'_

Roll credits! -ding!

_'I said we were going to take down the space elevator. But it's not like we can just go out and chop it down.'_

Don't worry, Avril. Once the skies are cleared, the coalition can use their overwhelming number of missiles to destroy the elevator. It worked last time. -ding!

_'Cutscene shows coalition firing all their missiles and the arsenal bird. Arsenal bird deploys its shields and destroys all the missiles.'_

Did the coalition forces think that wasn't going to happen? -ding!

_'Do you think you can put on the pressurized suit by yourself? You'll never get it over those frills.'_

We're in the middle of a life and death struggle, and you choose to admonish Cossette over the state of her clothing? And she didn't have an opportunity to change out of the dress since you found her at Tyler island. Cut her some slack. -ding!

_'Damn shield! Just go away!'_

Hearing count yelling at the shield mixed in with Rosa smashing the controls to knock out the shield generators is funny as hell. Knock off a sin.

_'Gameplay shows shield disappearing; the music makes a triumphant return.'_

Knock off 10 sins.

_'The drones are acting crazy!'_

The drones are still trying to kill us. Your statement is false. -ding!

_'Is everyone okay? The drones are acting odd.'_

Everyone says that the drones are acting odd. But they're still fighting the coalition fighters and protecting the arsenal bird! -ding!

_'Cutscene shows Rosa falling off the edge, just as the new UAVs show up.'_

Coincidence is coincidence. -ding!

_'This isn't the time for that!'_

Count leads the missiles to hit him, but the debris has engulfed the princess. And somehow the princess survives that. -ding!

_'The Admiral Anderson.'_

Fanservice to the famous Admiral from ace combat 5. But unlike the Kestrel 2, this carrier actually plays an important role, much like the original Kestrel. Take off a sin.

_'Mission 20: dark blue.'_

Roll credits! -ding!

_'If that's the case, this war will never end.'_

If that's the case, we got legit Skynet uprising and Terminator war on our hands. -ding!

_'Cutscene shows Trigger's plane raised to the top of the carrier.'_

Knock a sin off for the music.

_'Gameplay shows Trigger fighting the two drones.'_

These drones have got to be the hardest boss fight in the ace combat series, and the drones are mowing down your allies like it's tuesday. Knock off a sin.

Also, knock off another sin for the background music, as it captures the desperation of Humanity's last stand against the super-drones.

_'Control, this is pilgrim one…'_

Nagase, is that you? -ding!

_'Can you hear me?'_

Cossette survived that fall. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows Trigger flying into the underground tunnels.'_

It isn't ace combat without a hair-raising tunnel mission, especially near the end of the game. Also, it's real convenient for Osea to build these tunnels big enough for a fighter jet to fly in. -ding!

Take a sin off for the background music. We're getting into Ace Combat 3 territory.

_'I thought we were going to pull this off after making it thru that maze.'_

What maze are you talking about? -ding!

_'Hey, i'm being serious here.'_

Holy shit! Count is actually serious for once. -ding!

_'Gameplay shows Trigger flying up the elevator.'_

This is very similar to the ace combat 3 mission Geofront. Knock off a sin for continuity.

Also, if you take your time flying up the elevator, you can hear the remaining pilots calling out for Trigger and Count. Even Rosa gets on the air and calls Trigger a beacon of light. Knock off another sin.

_'Cutscene shows Trigger flying out of the elevator.'_

Everyone is applauding Trigger for his success, but only Huxian is worried about Count. -ding!

_'This is captain Kei Nagase of the spaceship Pilgrim one.'_

Take off 10 sins for her cameo.

Also, why is Nagase in the game? The entire conflict was about the space elevator and how Erusea and Osea have differing views of it. -ding!

_'I salute the pilot who gave us all a future.'_

While Nagase did give an impressive speech, it should have gone to Rosa. Her speeches inspired Erusea to continue fighting. And a speech from Rosa at the end of the mission would have finished her character arc. -ding!

_'A humanitarian mission from Yuktovania…'_

It's Yuktobania! Even the subtitles have the correct reading! -ding!

_'I guess Tabloid got that new system he wanted in the end.'_

And without the aid of V2 and the ADFX-01 Morgan. All it took was the sat network to go down, and a country to descend into anarchy. Great system, Tabloid. -ding!

_'That cranky old geezer is here with us to.'_

Mihaly survived the encounter at the castle? Is death cheap in this game? What about the dozens of other named characters who died throughout the game? -ding!

_'And the princess…? She's looking to the stars.'_

A noble goal, but with what? Most of her pilots and qualified personnel are dead from the war, and her top test pilot is dying in his bead. Not to mention the infrastructure of Erusea is probably in shambles right now. She'll have to rely on Osea and possibly Yuktobania to make her missions come true. She wanted to ensure Erusean independence from Osea, but now she may be forced to rely on Osea thanks to the destruction from the war. -ding(2)!

_'Cutscene shows Rosa looking at the space elevator with french music in the background.'_

Is the space elevator the Eiffel tower of strangreal? -ding!

_'Ending credits start playing.'_

The song is french, and its the same song the Eruseans were singing throughout the game. Erusea is France, much like Osea is America, Belka is Germany, etc. -ding!

Also, the name of the song is pensees. But it can easily be misread/misspoken as penises. -ding!

Final sin tally: 189

Sentence: ace combat series.

...

A/N: if anyone wants to put this on YouTube, please do so. Just give credit to the writer of this fanfic.


End file.
